Its 3:30 a.m., the typical time I wake up and stuff starts rolling around in my head. I used to think it was life worries, then menopause, then anxiety. Now I just get up, brew tea and journal. Or I just lay there and think…good things, bad things, whatever things. I have some of the best conversations in my mind at that time…and some of the worst. I only just realized that this very act was what could be called surrendering. Accepting that for whatever reason I was awake at 3:30 a.m. and that it was okay. I stopped fighting it and allowed it to be. Occasionally I can’t fall back to sleep, but usually after allowing myself to purge all those thoughts, I can.
Sometimes we fight things thinking we’ll win but sometimes winning is in surrendering.